I Almost Lost Jami

It’s the first of December guys! I hope everyone is having a good days forward.. Uhm! Alam na ang mga 13^th month pay! Hahahaha!

Anyway, I would like to share what I have experienced on fine day in the mall with friends and our babies.

Last Month, my friends in high school decided to have a mini reunion. It was all girls (except Jef who’s a girl at heart) with our babies. It was a fun and tiring afternoon chasing our kids and sharing every mommy moments we had. I sure missed these girls and I can’t believe we were now Mommies. The last time we met were couple of years ago and most of us doesn’t have kids yet. To think that we are now Mommies is overwhelming.

Anyway, we have decided to go home around 9pm and returned all the carts that we rented. The last one we had was mine since sa labas ko ng mall ni-rent yung cart. Besides, most of my friends were with me since same way lang kami and that they could ride with us going home. I spoke with Daryl on the phone and was so mad dahil hindi kami magkaintindihan kung saan kami magkikita. Daryl is so forgetful and that annoys me a lot. Yung tipong hindi nya alam yung mga lugar na pinupuntahan namin. He’s not like me na kapag dinala mo sa isang lugar, I can go back there alone. Yun bang matandain ako sa mga lugar and directions. He was a complete opposite and it annoys me so much na minsan naisip ko baka nananadya lang. Going back, we have decided na he’ll be waiting for me in front of the mall na lang. After speaking to him, I held Jami who was playing with my friend’s kids. I asked him to ride on the cart ulit so we could go home na while I was fixing our bag at the same time, I was speaking to my friend as to where they were going home. They have decided to stay a little longer sa mall kasi while the others, sasabay sa akin. All I know was Jami went back to the cart and rode as I instructed him pero nung itutulak ko na yung cart, he’s not there.

Me: Hala! Asan yung anak ko?

My other friends doesn’t have a clue either since they were trying to listen to me and our other friends’ conversation. I started looking and I was shouting on top of my lungs so that Jami could hear me.

Me: DWYANE!!!!!

There were times na tinatawag ko talaga sya on his first name specially if I am mad at him.

We were on the side of ice skating rink in Mall of Asia (in front of Surplus). There were some stalls of sale clothing from Department store so I kept on looking for him on that area. Dun kasi kami naghahabulan and the other kids earlier. I was thinking baka nagtatago lang sa mga clothe racks pero wala talaga.

My friends started helping me and shouting his name din.

In that moment, I was thinking it’s not happening. That he’s just anywhere there and that I just have to look for him. Pero wala, it took couple of seconds before everything registered to my mind that Jami is indeed missing. Parang gusto kong mahimatay at that time. Naiiyak na agad ako since I don’t know where to start. I don’t exactly know kung saan sya nag suot since walang nakakita sa kanya. Thinking about how big Mall of Asia is, that makes me more nervous.

I was starting to palpitate and cry when I heard my friend who called me and said that Jami was found.

I saw a lady guard carrying him going inside the mall. LUMABAS PALA SYA NG MALL!!!

There was an exit kasi and that it was a street where cars come and go. I didn’t realize that he went out of the mall. Jami was so kilig playing with other kids that he ran outside dahil naghahabulan sila. I felt mixed emotions when my friend took him from the lady guard and approached me. Jami still looked happy since he didn’t realize what just happened. Akala nya they’re still playing. I was so mad pinagalitan ko sya and said he was bad because he left Mommy, that he ran and didn’t wait for Mommy, he will no longer have Mommy kapag ginawa pa nya yun.  He then realized that I was mad kaya mejo sad din sya pero all along, masayang –masaya talaga sya. It wasn’t the first time that we were out in the mall na kaming dalawa lang. Madaming-madaming beses na and this never happened. I don’t know what came into my mind at that moment and why I missed looking after him. It all happened in 2 minutes or less.

I almost cried na. Buti na lang he was found agad or else baka mahimatay na talaga ako. I am sure all mommies can relate to what I felt and that it was one scary thing, iniisip mo pa lang, nakakatakot na. Ang kinatatakutan ko talaga is if someone take him because I will never ever get to see him. I remember a documentary showed on GMA that a mother lost his child and it has been 3 years, he was never found. Someone saw his child carried by someone going out of their street. His child is not even crying so the witness didn’t think that the child is being taken by another person. Diba?? I can’t sleep for days after that at hinding-hindi ko talaga mapapatawad ang sarili ko if something like that happened to him. It was a good several nights that I kept thinking what ifs. I hugged Jami one night and whispered “Wag ka aalis ha, wag mo iiwan si Mommy”.

I was so paranoid that after the incident, I promised myself not to lose my focus on Jami. He has to be the first priority above all.

I really thank God that Jami was found. I oath not to have this kind of things happening in the future. So help me God.

Dear Jami,

This was the very first time that I almost lost you while we’re out in the mall. I can’t believe it! I thought Mommy was so vigilant and that I will never ever miss a single second without looking at you at whatever you want to do or wherever you want to go. I guess Mommy get distracted at times. I was really glad that you are still with me. I don’t know what I’ll do without you, Anak. I was so scared and I was hoping everything was just a dream. God pitied us and you were found immediately. Buti na lang, nothing bad happened to you. I promise to focus on you when we’re out. Nowadays, kahit naglalakad lang tayo going to your favorite tindahan na binibilhan natin ng small eggs, I was looking at you while walking. Minsan kasi sobrang bagal mo, you want to walk alone so minsan nahuhuli ka. I kept on calling you “Dwyane.. Jami.. Common, bilis.” So you’ll be remained focus that you should follow me. If you’re gone too far (2 feet away), I would wait for you or would chase you so we could walk together na lang. I want you to be independent because I know you have a strong personality and can handle things yourself. Still, I want you to know that Mommy will always be here and that I won’t get tired in chasing you. I love you baby.. Mommy and Daddy love you so much! =)