I Choose to be Happy! You Should too..

Hi everyone, sorry for being out of blogosphere for a while. I was so busy on so many things – I mean my mind. Would you imagine that it’s almost half of the month? And half of the year? Oh dear! Ang bilis ng panahon! I didn’t even notice it because of what I am going through. 

I wanted to be honest with you by telling you every bits of the story but I don’t want to hurt those people whose making me feel hurt. I think it isn’t right diba? If they make you worst, kiber mo sa kanila. It wouldn’t make everything ok kung papatulan mo lang sila diba? Speaking of it, as of this moment that I am typing, this isn’t what I felt awhile ago talaga. This is what I like about blogging kasi it makes my mind think of a better way on how I would respond on things. Ang chaka naman kasi diba if negativity ang ma acquire ng readers ko ( kung may readers nga talaga ako). Oh well I think there were. Hehe, like Mommy Joy of Happiness of Joy, Edelweiza of Life in Manila, Gladysof Pinay Mom. They are those who constantly drop by a comment or two to give encouraging words on everything I write in here which makes me want to write more. I am learning from them too so I hope you can check their blogs too because I am sure you will pick a moral lesson on stories they share. At least from these blogs, its real life stories you read and not fictional. =) 

Teka, mejo na carried away na ako at nalayo sa topic ng slight. Hehe. 

Going back, I was not feeling well this weekend. Not literally sick but my mind is preoccupied with so many things. With that, I am not able to think and feel straight. I get affected with words and things that those people around me do quite habitally and it makes me feel uneasy. Although I am thankful that everyday, I get to see James smiling and playing and that makes me feel right. 

I came in the office late today because of me playing emo. Hehe. I decided to go to work so I can express this better here in my blog. Yes, I go to work to earn money and to blog. I am not a good writer. I don’t know how will I explain things, I have a very unorganized mind like my closet and I hate talking about how I feel because it will make me weep, and weep and weep.. weep.. weep.. Wait, I found it funny but really, I hate speaking about my feelings specially if that’s what I felt right then and there. Most of the time, I reflect and find some revengeous act, (if there’s such word) like most of us do but this blog makes me feel positive. I am hating negativity if I am writing about things I want to share here because I want you to not to feel what I am going through. It’s really hard to “reyna ng emotera” to be on this kind of situation. 

Anyhoo, instead on elaborating on the negative eklaver that’s going on with me, I read this article at www.marcangel.com which I would like to share to you instead. I was introduced on their website when I read Ms. Jenni Epperson’s post about “30 Things to start doing for yourself”. 

It’s really a timing that I read this post with what I am in as of the moment. I would put in the things they wrote and would pick a line each on how they describe it in their blog which I liked the most then if I may, I will share my insights and maybe with that, you can have a glimpse of what I am up to.  

20 Habbits Happy People Have ( But never talked about)

 

1. They don’t caught up in other people’s drama.

“happy people are often thankful for all the rude, obnoxious, and difficult people they meet in life, because these people serve as important reminders of how NOT to be.”

Mommy Jen says: 

There always been people who love to bully someone who they think are inferior to them. In my case, I get affected with what other people say specially if they are those who are important to me. Later on, I will have a reflection of what has happened and it makes me realize that somehow, what they have told me has helped me become strong and care less on what other have said about me. I care less, I mean I don’t care whatever other people have said or continuously saying about me. Anyway, they don’t matter. 

2. They give to others whenever they are able. 

 “providing social support is actually more beneficial to our happiness than receiving it.’

Mommy Jen says: 

Honestly speaking, I never helped anyone who are in need specially those who experienced earthquakes and typhoons. Some of you might thought why I have never done that. Don’t get me wrong. I grew up having only what is enough (sometimes not kasi malakas ako kumain nung bata pa ako) on my plate. When Typhoon Yolanda hit Tacloban, we had so many used clothes that are bound to Iloilo which we could have donated but Nanay’s immediate family in Iloilo had an aftermath of Yolanda too so we decided to help them first. I have never understand the happiness through helping yet so I think I must have to figure that out, right? Although with some other things, I sure have helped someone on my own little things. 

3. They nurture their important relationships.

“The number of friends isn’t the important aspect here; it’s the effort you put into your relationships that matters. “

Mommy Jen says: 

 

I am really not Ms. Congeniality at all. I only mingle on those people who I think are worth my time and trust. I have received a comment here at work that I don’t often get along with other people. It’s not that I am anti-social really, I just don’t feel like making friends with everybody. Talking to them is enough because I am sure that those 1-3 friends that I picked have been so much enough to keep me sane. 

4. They leave space to love themselves too.

“Happy people know self-love isn’t selfish.”

Mommy Jen says: 

Most of the time, people think that if you have been going out to the salon, pampering yourself, going places and buying stuff you want; you are being selfish because you had the courage to think about yourself first rather than the needs of someone else. I think I have experienced it in a way now that I am a Mom to James. I bought him all the clothes that I found cute in the department store which left me having only two pairs of newly acquired jeans, handed –brand new shoes from Mom, clothes from Ate Fraulene that would fit my post-partum body and a super duper unmatching clotes. I think I have to work on this too. Necesitties of our loved ones are important, of course. But we have to take care of ourself too so we can show them that we can take care of them too by taking care of ourself. 

5. They focus on effectiveness over popularity.

“It’s this feeling of knowing you made a difference that matters in the end.”

Mommy Jen says: 

I have met a lot of people at work. Each one has a story to tell for sure but this person I met 6 months ago have made a lot of difference in me. In a way, I have been telling him – yes, He’s him – a lot of the things that’s bothering me. I tell him what I think, he’ll tell me things that my alter-ego would tell me. He makes me think rational on most things rather than being emotional about it. He wasn’t just someone that I have met but someone who would have thought me how to about thinks. Men are less likely emotional unlike us girls who would dwell on the how we felt on a situation right? Being popular isn’t really the trick of being happy, but being effective on making a difference that making oneself contented.

6. They say “no” when they need to

“Sometimes you have to set clear boundaries.”

Mommy Jen says: 

No – is really hard to express specially if that person has been so good to us. Like me, I have been saying yes all along because I think I can handle things and I am helping someone in a way but I am wrong, truly wrong. I ended up being miserable in certain things faster than I thought. I should have not afraid to say “No” if I don’t feel like it. And now, Yes, I am paying for those yeses. So we have to set clear boundaries of how we want things to be and not living in someone else’s expectations about us. 

7. They sincerely practice gratitude.

“The more you count your blessings, the more blessings there will be to count, and the happier you will be.”

Mommy Jen says: 

Everyday, I feel miserable about things that I think I did wrong. I wasted every inch of things I once owned. I always forgot how lucky I am to have a house to go home to, to be able to buy food when I am hungry, a bunch of clothes to wear, I have friends to talk to when I am low, a family that bullies me but stays on my side when I am lost, having a man who have loved me regardless of what I am and a handsome and lovable son. There was a tarpaulin along Gil Puyat Ave that says, “Someone out there is facing a harder battle than what you have, so be thankful of yada yada”. Sorry, I forgot the whole sentence but it is somehow telling everyone na hindi lang ikaw ang pinagsakluban ng langit at lupa kaya wag kang mag inarte. Hahaha. Sorry, Just trying to make you laugh. =) But it’s true, we have a lot to be thankful about. Just look around you and you’ll find them. =) So eto na ang bagong mantra ko from now one. =)

8. They cultivate optimism.

“People who think optimistically see the world as a place packed with endless opportunities, especially in trying times.”

Mommy Jen says: 

Everyone here had things that we have to face everyday. Things that you really can’t avoid regardless on how much you try your best to escape from it. I, have a lot of situation to deal with. Honestly speaking, I don’t have this optimism with me every now and then so I really have to work on this too. I have to be optimistic in every situation now that I have a son. I have to make him see that I am strong and whatever situation I am thrown into, I can deal with it with a smile and with all confidence. =)

9. They don’t attach themselves to every success and failure.

“Never let success get to your head and never let failure get to your heart.”

Mommy Jen says: 

I always think how those successful people go on with their lives. Sometimes, I think they are just too lucky for not having a bumpy road along the way. It isn’t the case pala, they simply don’t get big head when things are going their way. On the other hand, the failure is not being taken personally. I specially feel down when we failed like with my cooking, lagging epic fail but in the long run, I learned from it and next time I’m cooking it, I am confident in making it perfect. 

10. They develop strategies for coping in hard times.

“How you respond to the hard times is what shapes your character. “

Mommy Jen says: 

No one faces a happy and successful journey ahead. There’s always been a hard time going our way. I think I am into it as of now but thankfully I have read this which enlightened me somehow on how to deal on things. There should always be a strategy, a plan B that I can count on and whatever path I chose, it will make me as me in the long run. 

11. They see rejection as protection from what’s not meant to be.

“Rejection doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough; it means the other person failed to notice what you have to offer.”

Mommy Jen says: 

Most of the time, rejection makes us feel bad and low. While we are diverting our attention why those things didn’t come our way, we should be busy on making things perfect next time because for sure, we deserve better and it’s coming our way right? I remembered being rejected when the company I am eyeing for didn’t accept me, and because of that I found this company I am now where I have more time for myself and to my son. I can spend time in the morning before going to work specially on weekend. Looking back on where I was before, my time and energy is being consumed all along where I only go home dead tired and ready to sleep. Indeed, that rejection lead me to where I am now. 

12. They are focused on the present.

“We have no way of knowing what lies ahead, but that’s what makes the journey even more exciting – that’s what makes life worth living today.”

Mommy Jen says: 

I always look back on things. I always say “I should have not done this and that”. Believe me, I super hate it. The feeling was so annoying that I ended up getting pissed on things that should have been left behind. I am letting my past dictate how I feel towards things which is wrong. I have to work on this too. I have to focus on what today can offer and live by it to the best that I can or else, I will have today a most regretful one tomorrow. 

13. They dedicate time to meaningful pursuits.

“There are seven days in the week, and “someday” isn’t one of them."

Mommy Jen says: 

Whenever I make dreams, I always say “Someday I’ll become this and that”. Nowadays, I have realized that I have to achieve my dreams and things that I want to be before I got pregnant but it is never too late I know. I still have plenty of time to pursue what I really have in mind. I am a young mom and I want to achieve things before I reach 30. I have to work on this one. 

14. They are fully committed to their top priorities.

“It’s commitment that creates outcomes worth smiling about."

Mommy Jen says: 

Originally, we have to identify our priorities in life. My top most list is James. I am always committed with everything that relates to him. I can’t imagine a day without him and that what makes me become a WM. I wanted to provide him those wonderful things that life has to offer. I may not have all the money in the world, I will be giving him those things that can’t be bought with million dollar penny. Thinking about those wonderful memories that I am planning that we do together really makes me happy. =)

15. They embrace discomfort for mastery of a desired skill.

“ The rewards of becoming great at something in the long run far outweigh the short-term stress of mastery.”

Mommy Jen says: 

I can relate this in my cooking adventures where I started cooking 2 – 3 Sundays ago. 2 out of 3 cooking escapades I had is failed (including this passed Sunday) but it didn’t give me a single doubt about my skills. I know I am terrible at it but sooner or later, who knows? I may be the best cook. Hahaha #ambisyosa. I don’t care if someone thinks that I am wasting money in cooking failed dishes, it not their money I am wasting anyway. I wanted to be good in cooking because I want to be able to cook for James. I want him to share to his friends that his Mom cooks the best of his favorite dishes diba? So to those whose bullying me in cooking, I cooked edible food for a starter. Not too bad to go to the waste bin. 

16. They take care of their physical health.

“If you don’t have your physical energy in good shape, then your mental energy (your focus), your emotional energy (your feelings), and your spiritual energy (your purpose) will all be negatively affected. ”

Mommy Jen says: 

I am not sure if I am physically fit though I seldom get sick – as in seldom. As soon as I get my HMO, probably next month, I’ll have myself checked every month to become physicaly fit. I am also planning in joining in Fun Runs to because I’ll have a buddy na!! Yehey!! I’ll just have to wait for a couple of months kasi they said I should wait for a year daw pero babatukan na ako ng friend kong Nurse kasi I can do normal things na daw except lifting heavy things. Anyhoo, I have plan things ahead of time, it’s just a matter of executing the plan.

17. They spend money on experiences, rather then needless stuff.

““Experiential purchases” tend to make us happier for two key reasons: 1. Great experiences improve over time when we reminisce about them.  2. Experiences are often social events that get us out of our house and interacting with people we care about.”

Mommy Jen says: 

This I would say I achieved before I had James. As I shared to you before, I have travelled different places although it’s not out of the country. Remember, I have applied passport January 2013 then March of the same year, I found out I was pregnant with James. Maybe because he wants to join me on my first every out of the country tour ano? Hehe. Anyway, I would like to spend still one “Experiential purchases” like travelling, new skills learned and some events that would make me remember until my gray hair days. I advised you to go places because it is a long lasting memory than of those clothes, shoes and needless stuff.

18. They savor life’s little joys.

“Happiness is a how, not a what – a mindset, not a destination.”

Mommy Jen says: 

I always, always forgot to be joyful in little things that comes my life. I guess most of us does because for me, I always look on the bigger ones that are life changing before being so happy about it. Maybe, I have to learn the concept of contentment first so that I can be happy with the smallest things. They said to always live below your means and appreciate things more often. Its not bad to reach for the top, but always be grateful of those smallest things along the way. I have to work on this one as well.

19. They embrace the impermanence of life.

“Sometimes walking away is a step forward.”

Mommy Jen says: 

They said that the only constant thing in this world is change. People and things come and go – some are never ment to stay and some are here for good. Whatever it takes, we should be ready on the changes and still willing to go on with our life regardless of what is coming along our way. It may be hard but this will be one happy step moving forward. This I have to focus on too.

20. They live a life they actually want to live.

“Surround yourself with people who support and care not for the “you” they want you to be, but for the real you.”

This is the sum up of those listed above. Living the life you want to be and not everyone wants you to become. In the past year of my life, a lot of changes came and sometimes I don’t feel like being able to attend to every single one of it. I grew up in a way where I have been given a freedom to choose what I really want in life. I am lucky not be be asked on how to live my own life so I guess I have to think not once, twice but ten times until I’ll realize what’s the best for me and my son moving forward. I am not born to please everyone but to live my life the fullest. 

Today, I chose the path of the Happy people and decided to share them to you. It might be just the word of encouragement for you to go on with your life but the tarpaulin in Gil Puyat says ; “Somewhere out there, Someone is facing a harder battle than you are..” so I have to being grateful in things coming your way and working on each of those opportunities that drags you down will send you to happy place where happy people are living at. 

Don’t forget to visit their website by clicking here. I promise, you’ll learn so many things about life. 

Choose to be happy today, and everyday. =)