A Short Mommy Kwento

I came home at 11pm yesterday night kasi my shift ended at 9:15pm tapos byahe pa. When I came home, James was asleep. Tinabihan ko sya agad then fall asleep din agad.

James cries in the night for so many reasons, if he’s cold, or it’s hot at pinapawisan na sya, or he wants milk, or he just want something to suck I’ll give him his Chiripi (his chepeta/pacifier). I would know if he wants milk kapag binigay ko yung pacifier niya, what he’ll do is make a sound na para bang nagrereklamo na wala syang madedeng milk. It was funny talaga kasi its as if nagrereklamo sya.

The next morning, He woke at 6am as he usually does. He was crying for I don’t know why na naman. Ewan ko ba minsan parang feel lang nya ata umiyak. Mom said, one time na hindi ako natulog from where James’ is sleeping,  hindi naman daw naiyak sa madaling araw. Whenever I am not around, James is behave daw. Walang tigil sa kakakumpas ng kamay at paa niya, then cries kapag milk na or he’s tired playing na, at magpapakarga na. But if I was around, he cries a lot, he wants to be carried at naiyak sya kapag madaling araw. Hayy. I sometimes find it offending kasi feeling ko I can’t make him behave or I am not that effective pero I have this thinking na, every night when I go home, naaabutan ko sya na tulog na, every weekend lang kami magkasama, hindi ko pa ba susunggaban ang opportunity na makarga sya at makausap diba? Uyyy.. Ang drama! Haha.

Going back, I sat down. My face and his face were just inches away.

Me: Bakit anak? Anong problema?

James: waah waaah waahh ahhh ahhh nyaaa (with matching make face pa na parang nagsusumbong. Yung para bang nag iinarteng bata).

He looked so cute. I was not able to take a video kasi (1) my phone’s memory card is so damn full of pictures and videos and songs and everything. It even occupied the 8GB internal memory nung phone then (2) I am still sleepy kasi nga I slept only for about 5 hours lang. Even so, hindi ko makalimutan kung pano sya nagpapa cute/nagsusumbong sakin early in the morning. I thought: Big boy na talaga ang baby ko, marunong ng mag inarte at magsumbong.. marunong ng sabunutan ang sarili nia at iiyak ng todo (Mom said I was like that din daw nung baby pa ako. Mana – mana lang talaga)at mag scratch ng ulo niya. Time flies so fast na fresh pa sa memory ko kung pano sya iyak ng iyak nung newborn sya at hindi ko maintindihan ang gusto nya.

Dear James,

You grew up so fast. I am so happy because sooner, I can speak to you and you can express your feelings too. I will see more of your emotions and how you will become happy on simple things. But at the same time, I am sad kasi tumatanda na ang Mommy mo hehehe. I know and I’ll pray na you will grow up as a wonderful person. I love you James. J